Woody Allen once said that sex was the most fun he'd ever had without laughing. But laughing and sex are not mutually exclusive. Horniness brings on undignified behaviour, and it is all the more fun if we are in on the joke. This blog is a celebration of the funny side of sex and the sexy side of humour. As an author of erotic stories I like to show that sex is more fun when it is playful and silly.
Lesbians don't come any funnier or more musically versatile than Amy Turner and Kathryn Lounsbery, known collectively as That's What She Said Show. They use a broad range of musical styles to poke fun at New Age lesbian cliches. They began performing their live show in 2007 and Lounsbery has said :"To be honest, our audiences really haven't been lesbians. It happens to be about lesbians, but the themes are universal." Their first album, called Girl-On-Girl Music, came out in 2009.
Lesbian Cliche Song
Fanny Pack Lover
A laidback jazz song about a girl who keeps everything in her fanny pack.
Hey, you, listening to this recording, imagine these fingers tickling your overies...
Mixed Tape
What better way to express love for one's same sex love object than with a mixed tape? The song incorporates snatches of some of the most obvious songs to include on one.
Why Is My Right Wrong (A Response to Prop 8)
A lush catchy ballad that finds the ladies in more serious mood as they respond to intolerance towards the concept of same sex marriage.
First Date
A parody of Gilbert & Sullivan in the form of an extract from the operetta H.M. Lez Pinafore dealing with the subject of internet dating.
Lady Crust
A feminist anthem about the crustiness that unites women of substance from Helen of Troy to Peppermint Patty.
Country Clam
An old fashioned country song.
I sure loved her and I thought she loved me
But with my beer-goggles on I guess I couldn't see
She put the I in kitty but our love was such a pity
Cause you can't spell pussy without us
Drink Her In
A sweet sad torch song about romantic regret.
Beavers
A rallying cry for lesbians everywhere.
Come on beavers build your dam
Make it dental or other
There's not much time
Grab your sister not your brother
Come on beavers build your dam
Take your sister's hand
Together we will forge the way
To a brand new flannel land
Can't you hear the cry
"Look out behind ya!
There's a vagina!"
I said, "Look out behind ya!
There's a pretty little lady vagina."
* * *
Once a long time ago there was a guy named Winnie the Pooh
Who stood for all things innocent and pure
But there is a new girl on the horizon
With "poo" in her name but it ends with "tang"
Poontang! She eats the honey right out of the jar
Poontang! She gets lots of tail down at the bar
U-Haul Rap
The most popular joke about lesbians becomes a raunchy butt-shaking rap song.
Nobody makes fun of the ridiculous obsessive side of sex like John Waters. Whether using rosary beads as a sex aid (Multiple Maniacs), sucking each others toes in gender inappropriate underwear (Pink Flamingos), rubbing themselves with a fish as an erotic act (Female Trouble), sticking their breasts through glory holes in a toilet wall (Desperate Living), fetishistically stomping on women's feet (Polyester), masturbating to a Chesty Morgan movie (Serial Mom), letting a gerbil go up their butt (Cecil B. Demented) or picking up a water bottle with their "cooter" (A Dirty Shame), the characters in John Waters movies engage in some of the most hilariously ridiculous sex acts committed to celluloid. His films are not erotic, but they end up coming off as celebrations of sexuality all the same. And they are very, very funny.
Waters is also a music fan. He collects obscure R & B and novelty songs and often uses them in his movies. He has also put out two compilation albums - A John Waters Christmas and A Date With John Waters.
A lot of the songs from John Waters movies have video clips, mostly fan made, on YouTube, so just for the fun of it I thought I'd put up video soundtracks to some of his movies, beginning with his most notorious Pink Flamingos (1972), which made a household name of Divine. It tells the story of Divine (a murderer living under the alias of Babs Johnson in a trailer park outside Baltimore). She lives with her "travelling companion" Cotton (Mary Vivien Pearce), her senile egg-obsessed mother Edie (Edith Massey) and her sexually perverse son Crackers (Danny Mills). Divine has been labelled "the filthiest person alive". But a local couple - Connie (Mink Stole) and Raymond (David Lochary) Marble - who kidnap hippy girls, have their butler rape them and then sell the babies produced to lesbian couples, reinvesting the money in sex shops and elementary school heroin rings - decide that they are filthier than Divine and challenge her to a filth-off by mailing her a year old turd.
Pink Flamingos is perhaps the world's most notorious gross out movie. Many people can't watch it. But for me its gleefully transgressive nature makes it a real feel good movie.
The Swag by Link Wray and the Wraymen
This infectious rockabilly instrumental plays over the opening titles as we see Divine's trailer for the first time with the titular birds stand in front of it.
Intoxica by The Centurions (as covered by The Vulcanos)
A surf instrumental which accompanies Divine driving into Baltimore, nearly running down a jogger and making fun of a hitchhiking soldier.
Jim Dandy by Laverne Baker
An instrumental break from this classic R & B song plays as Divine arrives in Baltimore for her shopping trip.
I'm Not a Juvenile Delinquent by Frankie Lymon & The Teenagers
Video no longer available
This song plays as Divine is shopping for meat and getting checked out by a pervert with a packet of hotdogs.
The Girl Can't Help It by Little Richard
This classic rock 'n' roll song by Little Richard, which was the title song of one of Water's favourite movies, accompanies Divine parading down a street in central Baltimore to the obvious astonishment of local residents who didn't know a movie was being made. Waters' new book Role Models contains an interview he did with Little Richard.
Ooh! Look-A There, Ain't She Pretty by Bill Haley & The Comets
This song accompanies Raymond Marble exposing himself to women in the park with a sausage tied to his penis.
Chicken Grabber by the Nitehawks
As Raymond's victims run away we hear this strange song.
Sixteen Candles by the Crests
Video no longer available.
In the original version of Pink Flamingos, this doo-wop song accompanied the mailing of the turd. For legal reasons it could not be used in the 25 Anniversary re-release, so it was replaced with...
Happy, Happy Birthday Baby by The Tune Weavers
Video no longer available.
Pink Champagne by the Tyrones
The wild birthday party scene is scored with this infectious tune.
Surfin' Bird by The Trashmen
During the party a man strips naked and flexes his asshole to the tune of this novelty classic.
Riot in Cellblock #9 by The Robins (as sung by Richard Berry)
The instrumental break from the original recording of this song, by the Robins (who would go on to become The Coasters), accompanies the police raid on Divine's birthday party.
How Much is That Doggie in the Window? by Patti Page
This cute classic provides counterpoint to the notorious scene in which Divine indulges in some impromptu dog do dining.
The Hills Have Thighs (2009)
Here is a trailer for a film which looks like it has a great bad taste sense of humour not a million miles away from that found in Waters movies. I can't wait to check it out :
