Time to Fold : Wank Wednesday

Today's Wank Wednesday prompt word is #paper. To find out more about this writing challenge and to find the links to the other stories check out Ruby Kiddell's Erotic Notebook.

Time to Fold

Journal of Eccentric Sporting Tournaments (JEST), October 2011

An Interview with Sam Kensington, World Champion in the Art of Freestyle Erotogami (The Ancient Japanese Art of Sexually Explicit Paper Folding), 1970-75.

JEST : Paper folding isn't a physically demanding sport, so why retire in your mid-sixties?

Sam Kensington : That's where you'd be wrong. Sure it doesn't take strength, but it takes precision. And the truth is that I haven't folded paper publicly since I lost the championship to my future wife in Tokyo in 1975.

JEST : But you have continued to be active in the sport as tactical support for your wife.

Sam Kensington : Exactly. So my decision to bow out is really her decision to bow out. She's retiring to concentrate on composing boogie concertos for the theremin. And I have no interest in working with any other folders.

JEST : Tell us how you did end up losing your title.

Sam Kensington : It was by default actually. An injury took me out of the competition.

JEST : An injury?

Sam Kensington : Yes, a rather nasty paper cut. Mildred beat out the rest of the competition. But let it be known that I have no doubt she would have beaten me. It was her first year of competition and she was, and has always been, a genius when it comes to making paper penises. My specialty, of course, was vaginas. And it was a conflict on this very issue which constituted our first intercourse. Verbal intercourse, of course.

JEST : She was not keen on your vaginas?

Sam Kensington : Well she thought they were too easy. 'Sam,' she said to me, 'it just won't do. That's just a salt cellar with one of the corner's bent over.' 'That's the clitoris,' I explained, 'and the two sides are the labia.' 'But the clitoris is in the wrong place and the whole thing is split two ways,' she insisted. 'Vagina's aren't.' 'Well,' I replied. 'It looks more like a vagina than it looks like a salt cellar.' 'Well, they never really did look like salt cellars, did they?' she agreed. 'I'm not sure where that came from.'

JEST : She specialised in penises?

Sam Kensington : That's right. All kinds of penises - flaccid, erect, circumcised - she could make them out of a single piece of paper. 'Sam,' she insisted, 'my penises don't come easy. Sometimes I have to work on them all day long.' I had to admit that they did make my vaginas look kind of wet by comparison.

JEST : And out of this argument over the relative artistic value of masculine vs. feminine paper genitalia sprang true love?

Sam Kensington : If our story had been a Hollywood movie, they would have described it as a "meet cute" beginning.

JEST : But you had a secret up your sleeve, even if you were out of the competition.

Sam Kensington : That's right. Of course the sensible thing would have been to keep it to myself and use it to win the next year. My secret was that I was not planning on making a vagina in the competition. The year before I'd made a secret trip to Hokkaido to meet with a Zen monk who knew the secret of single sheet copulation. It seems impossible, but it isn't. If you know the secret you can create a couple fucking doggy-style from a single uncut sheet of paper. Not only that but, when you pull on the sides of the figure, the man's penis goes in and out of her vagina and her eyes open wide each time this happens.

JEST : We wouldn't believe it if we hadn't seen it ourselves. But what convinced you to team up with Mildred Hatrack and let her take the honour of presenting single sheet copulation at the 1976 competition in New York?

Sam Kensington : Well, I had to admire her folding ability. But it was my admiration for something else which really brought us together. Mildred was one hot potato back then. Hell, she still is. Dress is kind of conservative in the world of paper folding, but it was pretty obvious there were some serious curves hidden beneath all those clothes. I didn't think I'd get a chance to find out though as the organisers of these contests are very conservative and discourage any fraternisation in the hotel rooms. We were staying an a very old-fashioned hotel in the middle of Tokyo. It was so old-fashioned in fact that it had traditional paper walls between the guest's rooms. When I noticed Mildred going into the room next to mine, I decided to do something very reckless, something of which I would be very ashamed if it hadn't been for the fact that it was a part of the process which led to my marriage.

JEST : What was it that you did?

Sam Kensington : I cut a small hole in the paper wall so that I could watch Mildred getting undressed. What I didn't realise was that a bright blue staring eye is pretty obvious when it is all that is breaking up an expanse of white paper and some brown wooden slats. She was onto me from the very start. But she'd taken a shine to me and she was also a bit of an exhibitionist on the quiet. So she pretended not to notice me watching her as she slowly undressed. I myself was already naked. And as she shed her clothes, I had to push my penis back firmly between my legs so that I could continue to stand close to the wall as it stiffened. It wasn't comfortable, but drinking in every detail of Mildred's gorgeous pale and curvy body was my main concern. Soon she was completely starkers, her big round boobs swinging loosely, her pink nipples erect and the gentle curve of her belly and thighs perfectly framing her hairy snatch. But she was determined to put on a show I could never forget, so no sooner was she naked than she lay back on her futon and began vigorously masturbating. That was my undoing.

JEST : That's when you fell in love with her?

Sam Kensington : No, that's when my stiff prick shot from between my thighs and ripped a huge hole through the paper wall.

JEST : How did she react to that?

Sam Kensington : She leapt to her feet, ran across the room and grabbed hold of my dick with both hands. 'Now I've got you, you little pervert!' she cried, but she couldn't stop herself from giggling. At first I wasn't sure what to do. She wasn't going to let go of my dick. I pulled back, but she held on for dear life. Then it occurred to me that I might as well take advantage of the situation.

JEST : How did you do that?

Sam Kensington : After I'd pulled my dick back as far as I could, I pushed it forward again. The loose skin was held tightly in her warm soft hands, but I could push it in and out, and derive quite some pleasure from doing so. 'Are you trying to get me to wank you off?' she asked. 'As long as you keep hanging on to me like that,' I replied, 'I don't see that you have a choice.' The next thing I knew I felt something stiff and wet rubbing around the head of my dick while she tugged on it. 'What's that?' I asked. 'It's the folded over bit on my salt cellar,' she chuckled. Well, it wasn't long before my cum was hanging off her pubes like tinsel on a Christmas tree. I know because she showed me through the big cum soaked hole that now acted as a window between our rooms. So that is how our relationship began. After that we decided to team up. She would do the folding and I would travel the globe looking for the most arcane and remarkable of folding techniques.

The End

Book Review : Forum Rejects - Rejected Erotic Letters by Tom Nardone

Forum Rejects is a collection of letters which Tom Nardone wrote to Penthouse magazine. He decided that it would be funny to write deliberately bad erotic letters and see what happened. Would they be accepted as curiosities? Would they be rejected? It was the literary equivalent of making prank phone calls. But with a prank phone call you know how it has been received. Nardone never found out how his letters were received. He never received any feedback. But now he has dug out those old letters and put them out in ebook form. So we can all share the fun and laughs that may or may not have been brought to the editors of Penthouse by Nardone's special brand of humour.

The book (which is available for free from Smashwords) contains ten letters, all ostensibly written by different characters - 1 woman and 9 men. Each takes a different approach to the idea of the unerotic "erotic letter", from sexual incompetence to gross out to insane forms of description. My favourite is the second letter Louise at the Circus :

"In the 80's I thought that the curve of my television screen was about as curved as Louise's stomach. This was handy because I rented a lot of porn movies and whenever they zoomed in on the woman stomach I felt the curve of the screen and the stomach matched really well. It would get me very hot. I'll never get one of those flat TV's. I don't care if the resolution is better."

"Her breast weren't like fat elephants at all. The skin was much smoother than I imagined. It was like they were made from two half bowling balls but they were the consistency of jell-o. I massaged those jell-o semispherical bowling balls while Louise moaned like a broken vacuum cleaner."

 That letter had me laughing so hard I practically choked, and the rest are nearly as funny.

The Pubic Record : Wank Wednesday

Today's Wank Wednesday prompt word is #tangle. For more information on this writing challenge, and to find links to the other stories, check out Ruby Kiddell's Erotic Notebook.

The Pubic Record

I've been working for the Guinness Book of Records for ten years now. Every workday I travel around watching people eat a massive number of hotdogs or build a ten foot high house with playing cards, or else I'm counting their collection of vintage Coca Cola bottle caps. But I never thought I'd end up in the record books myself. This is how it happened.

I received a call from a woman who said she thought she had broken a record. But she wouldn't tell me what the record was over the phone. She said I wouldn't take her seriously unless I saw it for myself.

"What the hell?" I thought. I get paid whether the record is a legitimate one or not. I'm just the verifier.

When I knocked on the door it was opened by a pretty little redhead in her mid thirties. She was just my kind of lady, plump with big titties. She was wearing denim shorts and a pink t-shirt that said "I'm a bad, bad girl." She greeted me with a cheeky smile.

"I'm glad you decided to come," she said. "My name is Denise. You won't be disappointed."

"I'm sure I won't," I replied, looking at the way the letters on her t-shirt were stretched out of shape by her  round boobs.

I'd brought my full bag of measuring implements as I wasn't sure what I was going to be verifying. I put it down on a chair in the kitchen when she offered me a cold can of soda out of the fridge.

"Well, I better show you, I suppose," she shrugged as I sipped on the cool drink.

Before I knew what was happening, she unzipped her shorts and pulled them and her panties down over her plump legs.

I was so taken aback that I sat down on my instrument bag. There was a loud crunch as many of the instruments it contained broke beneath me.

"I've been cultivating my pubic hair for several years now," Denise told me. "It isn't easy. You have to cut off just enough to encourage it to keep growing."

I'd never seen anything like it. It looked like Billy Connolly had just poked his head out of her cunt.

"I must admit I'm very impressed," I informed her. As she tugged nervously at her pubic jungle, I could see the pink slit beneath. Her pussy lips were wet and glistening. Exposing herself to me was turning her on. Her display was having a similar effect on me. The pith helmeted explorer in my pants was pressing against my fly in his urgency to uncover the secrets hidden within that wilderness.

"I think I have the longest pubes in the world," she declared.

"Let me get out my ruler and we'll see if we can confirm that," I suggested, standing up and looking into my bag. "Damn, I broke my ruler!" I cried, picking up the two separate pieces. "You wouldn't have a ruler, or a tape measure? I usually have a tape measure myself, but an elephant crushed it after I tried to measure his penis."

"Oh, dear," she said. "I hope you haven't come here for nothing." Then she turned around and bent over, looking into a cupboard under the sink. Her bare bum was big and soft and wobbly and it was all I could do to resist the temptation to go over and slap it playfully. I'm sure she didn't really need to wriggle it back and forth like that as she looked for a measuring implement. "I'm afraid I don't have anything," she sighed finally.

"Wait a minute," I replied. "I think I know what we can do." I moved the bag off of the chair and sat down to take off my shoes.

"Yes?" she asked, coming over and standing very close to me, so that her pubes were tickling my arm.

"My cock is exactly six inches long when erect," I informed her. "A peculiarity which I never thought would come in handy."

"And is your cock erect now?" she smiled saucily.

I stood up and dropped my trousers and boxer shorts.

"Oh, I see that it is," she nodded.

"Do you really think that a gorgeous woman like yourself can flash her juicy scarlet-tressed cunt at me without causing me to become rampantly aroused?" I asked.

"You think I'm gorgeous?" she queried with a big grin.

"Believe me," I replied. "I'm finding it very hard to remain professional at the moment in your intoxicating presence."

"So how are we going to do this measuring?" she asked, a little breathlessly.

"Perhaps if we go into your bedroom," I suggested. "You can lay down on the bed and spread your legs. We'll stretch your pubes out as far as they will go, and I'll measure them with my cock."

"That sounds like a plan," she agreed, leading the way, her big bum jiggling around in front of me in a way that made me groan with suppressed lust.

Once we were in the bedroom, Denise jumped onto the bed, rolled onto her back and spread her legs.

"O.K. Let's get started," I said, grabbing a bunch of her fiery wiry hairs and trying to find the longest ones. Once I'd done that I stretched them out onto the bedspread as far as they would go. Damn, there was Denise's pink pouting wet pussy staring me in the face. Her juices were leaking onto the bedspread.

Rosie from Girls Out West

"Measure me, Mr. Inspector," she grinned.

Once I had the ends of the longest strands of pussy hair, I reached around under my arse to hold them there and then lay down so that the length of my stiff cock lay along the hair. One cock. I held that spot with my fingers. Two cocks. At three cocks, the head of my measuring implement was smearing pre-cum all over Denise's stiff clit.

"Mmmmmmmm, that feels divine," she sighed.

"Eighteen inches," I told her, my voice quivering a little. "I'm sure that's a record."

"Would it be unprofessional of you to slide that lovely stiff cock of yours deep into my record-breakingly hairy pussy?" she asked, biting her lip.

"That would be very unprofessional of me," I informed her. "Fucking your juicy hot wet pussy, while grabbing fistfuls of your big beautiful ass would be terribly unprofessional. As unprofessional as pulling  off your one remaining garment so that I can suck on your mouthwatering tits."

"I wouldn't want to ask you to do anything unprofessional," she said sadly as my cock continued to tease her clit. "But perhaps you could give the new record holder a tiny kiss of congratulation."

"I think that would be acceptable," I agreed, moving up to give her a peck on the lips.

"Whoops!" she cried. "Somebody's naughty prick has slipped right up inside my greedy little pussy."

"Let's just call it a workplace accident," I groaned as I grabbed her big soft ass cheeks and slammed my modestly proportioned pecker in and out of her hairy love nest.

Denise pulled off her t-shirt as I furiously fucked her.

"Play with my boobies! Play with my boobies!" she cried. I jiggled them and squeezed them, and when I gently pinched her nipples she squealed in delight.

She was wriggling around ecstatically beneath me as I ground myself into her, pushing my cock as deep into her pussy as it would go.

"I'm cumming!" she screamed, and I could feel her juices washing over my bouncing balls.

"Oh, God!" I shouted as I spurted several jets of hot jism in her steamy depths.

"That was awesome," she grinned as I began to pull away.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" we screamed in unison. All that grinding had turned our intermingled tangle of pubic hair into a net of knots. We were tied together at the crotch.

We tried to pull ourselves apart, but it was too painful. If we could get a pair of scissors we could cut ourselves apart, but that would mean getting up off of the bed and we couldn't coordinate ourselves to do that without also causing pain. If there were a mobile nearby we could have called 911. But there wasn't.

"I've got a flat mate," Denise explained. "But she is travelling at the moment. She won't get back until Thursday."

We were stuck together like that for 125 hours. When Denise's flatmate cut us apart on Thursday, we were seriously dehydrated and very hungry. We had fucked a total of 51 times.

That's how I ended up in the Guinness Book of World Records as holder (along with Denise) of the record for the longest instance of coitus non interruptus.

The End

Falling Into the Cougar Cage : Wank Wednesday

It's Wank Wednesday once again and the prompt word is #cliff. I've resisted the temptation to write a story about Cliff Richard. For more information about this writing challenge as well as links to the other stories, check out Ruby Kiddell's Erotic Notebook.

Falling Into the Cougar Cage

Barney was eighteen years old and he was very unlucky. Apart from having to share his name with a really annoying purple dinosaur, he was a virgin. This might not have been a problem if he wasn't horny. But he was horny all the time. He had only to see a girl's round ass encased in a tight pair of jeans or firm young breasts bouncing bra-less beneath a t-shirt and his cock became rock hard. This made him very self-conscious. But he kept looking. And he longed to see more than just clothed girls on the streets. Of course he looked at magazines full of naked women. He could jack off to them all day. But he longed to see naked girls in the flesh. That is why he came up with his grand plan.

He might have been timid when it came to women, but he was a bit of a daredevil in other ways. He loved to go rock-climbing and he loved to hang-glide. A few miles from where he lived there was a nude beach over which towered a massive limestone cliff. He decided to hang-glide off of the cliff and glide over the beach so that he could get a bird's eye view of all those naked girls.

From the top of the cliff all of those girls looked like little white or brown ants. In fact he couldn't tell which of the little figures were men and which were women. But he grabbed onto the big kite and walked to the end of the precipice. He took a deep breath, and then he hurled himself forward out into the sunny afternoon sky. While it was a very hot day, thus ensuring that the beach was packed, it was a little windier than usual. Barney had to use all of his strength to guide himself in the right direction. He glided out over the sea and then circled back so that he could fly over the beach at a lower altitude.

Once he was gliding above the beach itself he found that its occupants were a very mixed bunch. There were a lot of fat old men whose leathery brown bellies hid their genitals just as well as clothes would have. And their were old women whose withered breasts hung almost to their knees. But there were also plenty of girls around his own age, of varying degrees of attractiveness it was true, but when he saw the gorgeous ones, with their firm bouncing breasts, jiggling bottoms and their bald or hairy pussies shamelessly displayed, it was all worth it. The feel of his dick sliding across the soft cloth of his briefs inside his denim shorts as it swelled and stiffened was almost enough to make him cum in his pants. Some of the girls even looked up and waved, just inviting him to feast his eyes on their delicious nakedness. This had definitely been a good idea.

But when a girl with a particularly lovely bottom bent down to pick something up so that her bum was presented directly towards him with just a hint of furry pussy peaking out, he forgot that he needed to start pulling up if he were to avoid crashing into the beach. At the last moment he pulled up sharply, but a freak wind lifted him and propelled him far over the local neighbourhood. At some point he was going to have to land, but where? Now he was above a patchwork of backyards and their accompanying houses.

Vesper from Girls Out West

There was a very large swimming pool. Now was his chance. He let go of the handle of his glider and fell into the water. The glider was whipped up by the wind, turned over and then landed on the roof of the house.

"It looks like someone has dropped in for a visit?" said one of three attractive women in their forties who chose this moment to walk out of the house and into the backyard with long drinks in their hands. All three were wearing brightly-coloured bikinis which showed off their tanned bellies and generous boobs.

"I'm sorry," Barney spluttered as he dragged himself from the water. "I lost control."

"We all know what that's like," chuckled the woman, a redhead in a hot pink bikini.

"You really must get out of those wet clothes," suggested a blonde wearing tropical print bathers.

"I'm Rebecca," put in a brunette in black, holding out her hand. Barney looked bewildered. He didn't take her hand, and he didn't take off his wet clothes.

"Brandi is my name," announced the redhead, "and randy is my nature."

"This is my home," the blonde informed him, "and my name is Sue."

"You look ridiculous standing there all wet and bedraggled like a half-drowned kitten," declared Brandi. "You're among friends. Take off the shorts and t-shirt. You can leave on your underpants if you are feeling shy."

"Awww, does he have to?" asked Rebecca with a wink.

Reluctantly Barney pulled his t-shirt off of his well-formed six pack and unzipped and pulled off his shorts. He was very much aware of the fact that his wet black hipsters did nothing to hide the shape of his currently flaccid cock.

"I'll go get you a drink," said Sue. "And I won't even ask to see your I.D."

"Well, we can see everything else," smiled Brandi, looking very directly at the front of Barney's underpants.

Sue came back with a tall glass filled with an orange coloured drink. It had a lemon slice and a paper umbrella. Barney sipped it and realised that it was very strong.

While Barney was distracted by tasting his drink, Brandi came up behind him and yanked down his underpants. He went bright red and quickly covered his dick with his free hand.

"He's so shy," Brandi chuckled, while groping his bare ass.

"I'd almost think he was a virgin," Rebecca told her, "if I didn't know that they were an extinct species."

"I'm not a virgin," Barney replied. "I've banged lots of chicks."

"You like sex, do you?" asked Sue, sidling up beside him and stroking his face.

"I love it!" he declared proudly.

At this point the three women simultaneously reached behind them, unclipped their bikini tops and shrugged them off. Their big soft boobs hung low, the previously unexposed areas pale compared to the tan elsewhere. Then they hooked their fingers into their bikini bottoms and pulled them down their legs. Rebecca and Sue had their pussies shaved bare, while Brandi sported a well trimmed area of flaming pubes.

Sidney at  AllOver30.com

"If you love sex so much," purred Sue, "you'll be absolutely crazy about having a foursome with a trio of sex-crazed cougars."

"That's disgusting!" cried Barney. "You're old! You're even older than my mother."

"So you don't like older women, hey?" queried Sue, while gently nibbling on his earlobe and rubbing her bare pussy against his hip.

"No," Barney replied.

"You're dick's telling us otherwise," said Rebecca in a sing song voice as she pulled his hand away from his cock to reveal that it was now standing fully erect.

"Traitor!" cried Barney to his erection. He put down his drink and gave his cock a hard slap. "Ouch! Fuck!" he screamed, hopping up and down.

"I'm afraid we can't let you do that sort of thing to your cock," Sue informed him. She pulled his hands behind his back. Brandi brought over her bikini top and together they used it to tie Barney's hands together.

"We're members of the SPCP," she informed him. "The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Penises."

"Yes," added Rebecca, "you'd be surprised at the number of penis owners who mistreat what should be their best friend. They squeeze their penis into extra tight pants. And with so many guys, if we don't keep an eye on them, they start beating their meat."

"And it isn't just what they do to them," Brandi explained. "Oh, no, no, no... Deprivation is a big problem to. If we left you to your own devices you would deprive your cock of the joys we want to bestow upon it. That, my little virgin friend, would be cruelty."

"I told you, I'm not a virgin," Barney insisted.

"Cougar's know how to trust their instincts," Brandi told him. "If you weren't a virgin our mouths would not be watering as much as they are at the thought of sucking your cock."

"The first time you have your cock sucked, you want to have it done by an expert," Rebecca informed him. He looked over at her and found that she was sliding two of her fingers in and out of her cunt which was dripping its juices all down her legs.

"How do we decide who goes first?" asked Sue.

"It's your home," said Brandi, reasonably. "You go first, then Rebecca and then me."

"She wants to make sure she's the one who gets a mouthful of spunk," laughed Rebecca.

Sue crouched down between Barney's legs and sucked on his balls, then she licked up the underside of his shaft which was leaking pre-cum onto his belly from its head. She licked up some of the slippery liquid and then slipped her lips over the head of his cock and swallowed it down her throat. The other two were watching closely while squatting down on either side and enthusiastically fingering themselves.

The other two took turns in sucking his cock.

"Oh, God!" he exclaimed as he filled Brandi's warm wet mouth with jets of creamy jism. She pulled her mouth off of his softening cock and then opened it up wide so that he could see her tongue all covered in his love juices.

"If you promise not to run away or do violence to your penis, I'll untie you," Sue informed him.

"O.K.," Barney replied. "I really don't want to run away now. This feels wrong, but in a good way."

So Sue untied him and they sat around chatting and sipping their drinks. Each of the women had her legs spread and was playing with herself as they socialised. Occasionally one would have to pause in her conversation to let out a moan of orgasm.

"You really don't want to squeeze a large cock like yours into a young woman's very tight vagina," Rebecca lectured him. "What he wants is to be stroked by the tender caress of an older pussy which is juicier and less constricting."

And indeed, by the end of the afternoon he had not only fucked all of their wet and tender pussies, but also Brandi's tight butt-hole. (Which just goes to show that the ladies were somewhat hypocritical in their views on putting cocks in tight places.)

"Take this," Sue told him, after he had dressed and gathered up the remains of his hang glider. She handed him a little black book.

"What's this?" he wanted to know.

"It has our phone numbers and addresses and also those of all the other 108 members of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Penises," she explained. "If, at any time, you feel that you might be in danger of mistreating your penis, ring one of these numbers and help will shortly be at hand."

The End

A Snogger Prepares : A Sunday Snog

The Sunday Snog is an institution created by Victoria Blisse. The idea is to post a snogging scene from one of your books (or create a new one). For more information check out her blog. Today's snog is an original and a quickie.

A Snogger Prepares

I was helping Natasha to learn her lines. Our performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream, in which she was Titania and I was Bottom, was only a week away.

We were sitting on a bench at the seaside amidst the couples eating fish and chips. Gulls circled above us sometimes swooping down to steal a chip.

"Oh, my God!" cried Natasha. "There's my ex-boyfriend and he's looking straight at us."

"That tall handsome brooding fellow with the bright yellow cravat?" I asked.

"Bastard!" she spat.

Natasha was one of the sexiest girls I'd ever known. All the guys in our acting troupe worshipped her. And all of us knew she was totally out of our league.

"I've got to make him jealous," she said, under her breath. "It would kill me if he thought I wasn't having more fun without him. Kiss me!"

"What?" I queried.

"You're an actor, aren't you?" she hissed, throwing her arms around me and pressing her lips to mine.

My heart pounded in my chest at the excitement of having her gorgeous face pressed against mine. Her lips were soft and warm against my own.

I was damned if I wasn't going to take full advantage of this opportunity. I lay back on the bench and pulled her on top of me, parting my thighs and grabbing her round soft butt cheeks. Her soft braless breasts were squashed against my t-shirt clad chest. I opened my mouth and insinuated my tongue into hers.

After a while she pulled herself away and sat back up. The guy was gone.

"Wow!" she exclaimed, re-adjusting her clothing. "Talk about method acting! You even had a boner!"

"Believe me, Natasha," I told her with a smile. "Stanislavski had nothing to do with that."

"Really?" she asked, with a cheeky smile and a raised eyebrow.

The opening night of our relationship took place that evening at her digs and it promises to run longer than Phantom of the Opera.

The End

Washed Up : Wank Wednesday

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Three in a Bed : A Sunday Snog

This week's Sunday Snog is another extract from my as yet unfinished novel Vanessa's Island. For more about the institution of the Sunday Snog and links to other contributions check out Victoria Blisse's blog.

Three in a Bed

"Time for bed, loverboy," Vanessa grinned.

"O.K.!" I yelled, grabbing her by the hand and dragging her towards the bedroom.

"Whoooh," Vanessa protested. "Hold your horses."

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"You haven't even kissed Nicole goodnight," she reminded me. "You really must learn to mind your manners."

"Oh yeah," I replied, running over to Nicole and pecking her on the cheek.

"That's not a kiss," Nicole protested. "THIS is a kiss." She threw her arms around my neck, pressed her soft boobs against my chest and kissed me long and hard and open-mouthed. As our tongues entwined, I rubbed my stiff cock against her firm belly in a desperate humping motion.

"All right all ready, that's enough!" cried Vanessa, pulling us apart. "I can't even trust you to give the girl a polite goodnight kiss."

"Poor David," Nicole sympathised, "I think you'd better take care of that cock of his right away before it explodes."

"Goodnight Nicole," Vanessa smiled, leading me into the bedroom.

"Goodnight, Vanessa. Goodnight, David," Nicole called after us, through the closing door.

Vesper and Lucie from Girls Out West

"So, David," said Vanessa, turning to me with an evil grin, "feel like a fuck?"

I threw my arms around her immediately and pulled her close. After all that frustration, the feel or her soft warm belly against my aching prick was too much. A wave of ecstasy shook my body and I coated the underside of her boobs with several jets of creamy hot jism.

"Oh, dear," Vanessa laughed, "I suppose I should have known that that would happen if I kept you waiting this long. I bet there's a hell of a lot more where that came from though." She grasped my still-stiff cock and slid her hand slowly up and down in its slick coating of cum.

"Oh, that's so good," I sighed.

"Now lie down on the bed," she instructed. "My pussy is almost as desperate as you are."

Following instructions, I lay down on the bed and watched as Vanessa lowered her auburn-haired pussy over my stiff cock.

"Oh God, yeah," I cried, reaching up to squeeze her bottom cheeks while she rode me like a horse.

Vanessa closed her eyes and pinched her nipples as she rode me and it wasn't long before a spasm rocked her body and she cried out in ecstasy as she collapsed on top of me in a sweaty heap.

"See," she said, with a slow sensuous smile, "some things are worth waiting for."

As she lay back on the bed beside me I began drawing slow circles around one of her sweaty nipples with my index finger. Then I leaned down and gently kissed the soft side of her throat.

"You really are the sexiest woman in the world," I told her.

"What about Nicole?" she asked.

"Oh, all right, you're the second sexiest woman in the world," I replied.

"You bastard!" she cried, slapping my face with a playful grin.

"Let's just say, that you are the sexiest woman in the world and Nicole is the sexiest girl," I replied diplomatically. "She is only half your age after all."

"You don't have to rub it in," Vanessa sulked.

"But I thought you liked it when I rubbed it in," I replied, rubbing my fingers in her cum-coated pussy.

"Well, when you put it that way... " Vanessa sighed, her evil grin once more manifesting itself.

"Oh, I'll put it anyway you like," I smiled, kissing her on the lips.

It didn't take much of this fooling around before my cock was stiff once more.

"Give it to me one more time," she said, giving me a slow, tired smile.

"Isn't that a song?" I asked, as I climbed between her legs and slid my cock deep into her welcoming pussy.

"If you start singing, I'll never forgive you," she replied. "Just shut your mouth and fuck me."

I was doing as ordered, slowly pumping my stiff prick in and out of Vanessa's hot pussy, when there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I asked, keeping up my rhythm.

"Idiot," Vanessa laughed, softly smacking the side of my head. "What do you want, Nicole?"

"I'm lonely," Nicole's voice replied sadly, from the other side of the door. "Can I sleep in your bed tonight?"

"Well, David and I are fucking at the moment," Vanessa replied.

"Oh, goody," cried Nicole, opening the door and running in to the room. "I hoped you might be. I love to watch."

"Well, David," said Vanessa, "I suppose we better make sure we put on a good show."

Vanessa squeezed her pussy around my cock to try to stop me from pulling it out, but I pulled hard and out it came with a wet plopping sound.

"See, Nicole," I said, putting on a teacherly voice, "this is David's cock, and this is Vanessa's hot horny pussy. And this is how David's stiff cock and Vanessa's hot horny pussy make friends with each other."

With that I spread Vanessa's legs even further apart with my hands and plunged my stiff prick back where it belonged.

"Oh, yeah," Vanessa sighed. "Teach her well, David, teach her well."

Nicole climbed onto the bed beside us and smiled happily as we fucked. She reached out with her right hand and slowly stroked the flexing musles in my left leg, as I plunged my cock again and again into Vanessa's insatiable pussy.

When Vanessa and I finally came simultaneously, a wave of ecstasy sweeping our bodies, Nicole celebrated the event by leaning down and planting a gentle kiss on left cheek of my sweat-soaked ass.

"I need a drink after all that exercise," I said, getting up off the bed. "You girls want anything?"

"Why don't you bring in what's left of the lemonade and three glasses," Vanessa suggested.

"Your wish is my command," I replied hammily, bowing my way o
ut the door.

The night was warm and humid. I could hear the heavy tropical rain beating a steady rhythm on the roof as I turned on the kitchen light. As I opened the refrigerator door the cool air felt good against my sweat-and-cum-soaked skin. I took out the pitcher of lemonade and placed it on a tray that was lying on the counter. I grabbed three glasses and put them next to the pitcher. Then  I carried the tray into the bedroom, switching off the kitchen light with my elbow as I went past.

Nicole and Vanessa were talking softly together about how wonderful life was on the island. As they talked Nicole ran a finger tentatively over the sweaty skin of Vanessa's hip.

"Vanessa?" Nicole asked, with a slightly troubled look on her face.

"Yes, Nicole," Vanessa replied.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Of course. But I didn't think you were interested in other women."

"Neither did I, until just now. But I want to know what it feels like."

I set the tray of drinks down on the bedside table and watched as Nicole gently took Vanessa's face between her shaking hands and brought their lips together. After a moment she pulled back and looked deep into Vanessa's eyes. Then she pressed her lips back to Vanessa's, putting her arms around her and pulling her close. A tremor went through Nicole's body as she and Vanessa's mouths opened and their tongues began to play together.

"Oh, wow," Nicole sighed, when she finally pulled away. "That was fantastic! I never knew it would be like that."

"I've been wanting to do that ever since you arrived on the island," Vanessa confessed.

"Look," said Nicole, spreading her legs wide apart so that Vanessa and I could see the juice that was trickling from the crack of her pussy.

"Mmmmm," I replied, sitting down on the bed and leaning over to lick it up.

"Oh, that's wonderful, David," Nicole sighed. "But I want Vanessa to lick it."

"I thought you'd never ask," Vanessa smiled, as her face sank slowly between Nicole's legs.

"Geez," I complained, "I'm stuck with a pair of lesbians. I can see I won't e
ven get a look in from now on."

"Judging by the state of David's cock," Nicole pointed out, "I think he likes lesbian girls. Does David want a naughty lesbian girlie to suck his cock for him."

"I wouldn't say no," I replied.

While Vanessa slurped happily at Nicole's pussy, Nicole leaned across and grasped my hot hard cock in her soft hand and lowered her warm lips around its sensitive head. She sucked it hard into her mouth, and then pulled back so that the end slipped out from between her lips with wet popping sound. She repeated this action several times, obviously delighted by the sound that it made."

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with your food," I complained.

By way of an answered Nicole just bared her teeth around my cock playfully.

"O.K., O.K.," I replied, quickly, "I get the point."

After that Nicole got down to some serious sucking and soon I was coating her tonsils with love juice.

"Oh, God," she cried, after she'd had a chance to swallow. "I'm cumming... "

When Vanessa finally came up for air, she was a mess. Her chin, mouth and nose were all drippng wet as she grinned at me. I leaned over and pulled a dark pubic hair from between her teeth.

Vanessa and Nicole were so excited by the joy that they had discovered together that they talked long into the night. Eventually I had to slap their bottoms playfully and tell them to shut up so I could get some sleep.

The next morning I was the first to wake. When a gentle kiss on each of their behinds failed to wake Vanessa and Nicole, I decided to let them sleep.

I fixed myself some breakfast and then set off to do some spear-fishing at the lagoon on the other side of the island, in hopes that I might catch a special lunchtime treat for my two weary bedmates.

"Aw, how romantic," I commented upon my return, when I found the two of them doing a naked slow dance to Tony Bennett.

Vanessa stuck her tongue out at me. "She dances better than you do, anyway," she commented.

I just sat down and watched them circle the floor, sometimes pressing their breasts together, sometimes pulling back so that their stiff nipples just barely touched and tickled each other. All the while grinding their hips together, Vanessa's auburn pubes intermingling with Nicole's black ones.

I had to admit that watching them dance like that was a major turn-on. As I watched them I slowly began to stroke my stiff cock.

"Just because you come home and find two nude lesbians slow dancing in your bedroom, doesn't mean you have to sit down and start masturbating," Nicole scolded me playfully.

"Oh, poor David," Vanessa replied. "I think he feels left out. Just because we like licking each others pussies doesn't mean we love him any less, does it."

With that they came over to where I was sitting and knelt down on either side of me. I continued to stroke my erection while they kissed each other over my lap, sucking on each others tongues sensuously. Then Nicole pulled my hand off of my cock and replaced it with her own. She pulled the head of my cock towards her mouth and gav
e it a tentative lick, then she offered it to Vanessa who did likewise. Then both bent down and began licking and sucking up and down either side of my cock, their lips and tongues occassionally brushing against each other around my shaft. Finally they were engaged in a wet open-mouthed kiss around my stiff cockshaft.

Eventually I surrendered myself totally to the rapturous pleasure they were giving me and spurted several jets of hot cum over both their faces.

As I sat there feeling totally satisfied, they
grinned up at me with my cum running in creamy rivulets down their foreheads and dripping from the ends of their noses. Then they turned towards each other and began licking each others faces clean.

When they had achieved this, Vanessa grabbed Nicole by the hand and led her over to the bed. Lying down in a 69 position, with Nicole on top, her round pink bottom pointed towards me, they proceeded to lick and suck each others pussies hungrily.

The sight was too much for me and my cock soon swelled back to full stiffness. Walking over to the bed to get a closer view of Vanessa's pink tongue flickering in and out of Nicole's dripping pussy, I proceeded to wank myself off and sprayed another load of cum over Nicole's back. When she and Vanessa had both reached quivering orgasms, she raised herself up and I watched my cum slowly run down her back and between the cheeks of her bottom.

That night Nicole, Vanessa and I again wore ourselves out with frenzied love-making.

The End (for now)