Back in the 70s, when I was just a lad, there were a series of books and films that related the clumsy sexual adventures of a British working class everyman by the name of Timothy Lea. The first book was The Confessions of a Window Cleaner. Although Timothy Lea was listed as the author, it was actually written by Christopher Wood (who would later go on to write the scripts for two James Bond films - The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker).
There where 19 Timothy Lea books and 4 films. In most of the books Timmy followed a particular profession. By turns he was a window cleaner, a driving instructor, a travelling salesman, a long distance lorry driver, a film extra, etc. Wood also wrote a similar series about Rosie Dixon, who was a night nurse, gym instructor, tour guide, babysitter, etc.
Recently I've been reading a lot of the Timothy Lea books, which are very funny, if rather politically incorrect by modern standards, filled as they are with rampant sexism and tasteless racial humour. What is most fun about them, though, is the slang - as Timmy's adventures lead to lots of encounters between his "spam ram" and his horny female customer's "spasm chasms". Here is a sample from Confessions of a Plumber's Assistant (1975) :
"As our lips stack, my right hand drops into her lap and starts to interfere with her under-clothing. Nothing to get you pulled up in front of the beak for finger smuggling but a soft, rhythmic carress ruckling her panties and rippling over her short and curlies. She starts to say something else but I kiss her silent and quickly slip my hand inside the blue lace. Percy is quivering like a tuning fork activated by a steam hammer and as I send a couple of cuticled hombres riding into love gulch Mrs Richmond presses back against her chair and shoots out her parted legs."
This gave me the idea of doing a series of posts on the humorously erotic possibilities of various occupations. Over the years I've written a number of stories which do this - Nicki the Naughty Nurse, Inappropriate Behaviour (about a psychiatrist), School Daze with Maria (about a teacher) and What Do You Want for Christmas? (about a store Santa who moonlights as a stripper). So I'll highlight all those occupations and more. But I thought I'd start with Timmy Lea's first occupation - window cleaner.
Cleaning windows isn't a glamorous occupation, but it allows for plenty of erotic possibilities. The voyeur never knows what intimate delights may reveal themselves on the other side of the glass. A window washer who serves private clients may meet up with the archetypal frustrated house wife. And a fit window cleaner in a wet transparent singlet can easily be a lust object for the ladies.
Robin Askwith as Timothy Lea.
Linda Hayden as Elizabeth.
Trivia : Confessions of a Window Cleaner was the highest grossing British film of 1974. Anthony Booth is the father of Cherie Blair, wife of ex-British Prime Minister Tony Blair.
An Erotic Story about Window Cleaners
A very hot tale of exhibitionism, voyeurism and masturbation.
Let me know what you think are the sexiest occupations for men and for women.