Woody Allen once said that sex was the most fun he'd ever had without laughing. But laughing and sex are not mutually exclusive. Horniness brings on undignified behaviour, and it is all the more fun if we are in on the joke. This blog is a celebration of the funny side of sex and the sexy side of humour. As an author of erotic stories I like to show that sex is more fun when it is playful and silly.

You can find my humorous erotic ebooks on I-Tunes, Kobo, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords. They are always free!!!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Chicks with Dicks or Chicks with Pecs?

The modern male pursues his pleasures on a sometimes confused sexual playing field where he can never be sure if his balls are going to go out of bounds and on which he may sometimes be unclear which team he is playing for.

I noticed recently that a friend was taking an interest in transexual porn. Of course I'd checked it out too from time to time out of curiosity. A large part of porn is women being showered with cum by guys with freakishly large organs. When this essential porn experience can be achieved when there is only one person in the room one we have an act which can be appreciated for its aesthetic efficiency and admirable simplicity. And there is no doubt a special bond that can be felt between the masturbating porn watcher and the star attraction when both have a cock in their hand.

But isn't lusting after well-hung porn stars kind of gay? This is not to say that that is a bad thing. But one wants to know where one stands.

One thing about transexuals is that they generally look very feminine. I remember seeing a documentary on the Wiemar Republic period in Germany when a lot of decadent sexual activities were going on and a conversation was related in which a heterosexual told a homosexual that he might consider having sex with a male as long as it was a pretty young boy. The friend said, "Pshawww, you might as well fuck a woman!"  What is between the legs is not as important as the femininity or masculinity of the overall package.

Now I'm not saying I would want to go to bed with a transexual. A limitation to two points of sexual ingress plus the ego battering effects of realising that she was more well-endowed than myself would be too off-putting. But I would be even less likely to want to go to bed with a female bodybuilder. One might as well fuck a man.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not claiming to be 100% heterosexual. Even I can't watch one of those old Andy Warhol movies without wanting to squeeze Joe Dallesandro's muscles. But when it comes to women, I prefer the Marilyn Monroe-type to the Arnold Schwarzenegger-in-a-wig type. There is a simple mathematical formula when it comes to sex - soft woman = hard penis - hard woman = soft penis.

More recently I've caught my friend checking out female bodybuilder porn sites. Hmmmm.

But getting away from the whole issue of sexual attraction, I do love movies about gay men, lesbians, transvestites and transexuals. I think it is something to do with being able to identify with the struggle for self-acceptance and acceptance by the world at large, and stories of non-conformists of any kind triumphing over adversity always leave me on a high. So I'm looking forward to checking out this new trannysploitation movie Ticked Off Trannies With Knives. It sounds like a Pedro Almodovar movie, but it's not.


  1. I do love movies about gay men, lesbians, transvestites and transexuals

    Absolutely!! there is no finer movie than Beyond the Valley of the Dolls - absolutely mindblowing!! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065466/

  2. Yeah, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls is great. I'm a big Russ Meyer fan. Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! is my favourite.

    I think maybe transvestite movies are what I like best, especially Breakfast on Pluto, Glen or Glenda and Rocky Horror Picture Show.

    A while ago I read a Turkish novel about a transvestite detective, called The Prophet Murders by Mehmet Murat Somer. It was great - a cheeky funny character in a really scary psycho thriller. Definitely worth checking out :


  3. Ha ha that book sounds hilarious about the Turkish trannie detective. Will check it out!

    By the way I also had a book published in Australia called Cocktails at Naptime so check it out and tell all your mates with nippers to buy it. www.cocktailsatnaptime.blogspot.com

  4. I work in a library, so I'll recommend it to the person who selects the books on motherhood. My area is DVDs and books on movies. :o)

  5. Thanks mate! I'll link you to my blog. I'll be back to check out your stuff too.