Woody Allen once said that sex was the most fun he'd ever had without laughing. But laughing and sex are not mutually exclusive. Horniness brings on undignified behaviour, and it is all the more fun if we are in on the joke. This blog is a celebration of the funny side of sex and the sexy side of humour. As an author of erotic stories I like to show that sex is more fun when it is playful and silly.

You can find my humorous erotic ebooks on I-Tunes, Kobo, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords. They are always free!!!

Friday, May 27, 2011

Black Fawn : Fuck Me Friday

It's Fuck Me Friday once again. Check out Aisling Weaver's site to find out how it all works and also to read all of the other sexy submissions.

Black Fawn

Nijinsky dancing The Afternoon of the Fawn in 1912
"You're a good dancer, Nino," explained famed choreographer Madame Croissant, "but I'm not sure if you have the raw sexuality needed to dance the lead in The Afternoon of the Fawn."

"I'm sure I can play any part I put my mind to," Nino pleaded.

"It's not your mind that's needed," she told him. "What matters is whether you have the balls." And with this she grabbed these items firmly in her right hand.

"Doesn't that count as sexual harassment?" asked Nino, nervously.

"The Fawn is a Satyr," she pointed out. "A woodland creature with a permanent woody. If you were the Fawn you'd have my leotards down by now."

In a flash of inspiration Nino grabbed his instructor's small firm breasts through her dark purple leotard.

"That's more like it," she purred. "Let your cock inform your performance. Remember how Nijinsky shocked the audience in 1912 by ending his performance with an act of simulated masturbation using the scarf of a nymph."

"Just go for it," Nino told himself, as he crouched down and buried his face in the sweat and pussy juice soaked crotch of his instructor's leotard. He grabbed the wet material between his teeth, ripped a huge hole in it and spat the cloth onto the floor.

"Set it free! Set it free!" cried Madame Croissant.

She was talking about Nino's repressed sexual self. But Nino interpreted her words differently and pulled down his leotards to bare his rampant cock.

Natalia from Girls Out West
Little did he realise that his girlfriend Anna Bendova was watching from the wings.

Nino pushed his instructor down onto the floor, spread her legs and mounted her like a rampant stag.

"If you can do this to the audience," moaned Madame Croissant, "we will have a triumph."

"I'm not sure I can do it to all of them," Nino told her.

"Ohhhhh! Ohhhhh! Ohhhhhh!" replied the distinguished lady.

Then with one more forceful thrust he spurted his seed deep within her.

"Do I get the part?" he asked, as she combed the hair back from her sweaty brow with a graceful hand.

"Maybe," she replied. "I'm still not sure. When I questioned Kevin's raw sexuality he spanked me and fucked me up the arse."

"How could you do that?" asked Anna, coming out onto the stage. "How could you be unfaithful to me?"

"It wasn't anything personal," he whispered to her. "I was just trying to butter up Madame Croissant."

*           *           *

That night he dreamt that he and Anna were dancing The Afternoon of the Fawn. They were both naked and dancing through a wooded glade. She was the naughty nymph teasing him by wagging her oh so pink and bouncy nude bottom at him before running off to hide behind a tree. Ever so graceful and fleet of foot he danced after her with his prodigious erection bouncing strictly in time to the music.

Tara the forest nymph from Girls Out West
When he finally caught her he inserted the middle finger of his left hand all the way into her juicy cunt, lifted her high above his head and, while she did the splits, spun her like a top.

It wasn't long before she began to orgasm, showering him with her pussy juices as he turned his face upward and opened his mouth. The sweet liquid filled his mouth and ran down his chin as the pair formed a horny fountain tableau.

Then he dropped her to the ground and lay her on a bed of soft damp moss, spreading her muscular dancer's legs and plunging his prick into her Palladium of pleasure.

Frolic and fuck. Frolic and fuck. Such is the life of a woodland creature.

"I'm the Mick Jagger of the woodland world," he sighed to himself, as he slowly slid his merry member in and out of Anna's gorgeously gooey grotto. "All the nymph's fawn over me."

It wasn't long before he pulled out his boner and unloaded a bucketload of Bambi-batter all over Anna's belly.

At that instant the quiet was ripped apart by a gunshot and Nino clutched a bloody hole in the middle of his chest. There, standing in the middle of the clearing, was notorious ballet critic Wanda Wackoffsky dressed in camouflage jeans and jacket and brandishing a hunting rifle.

*          *          *

Nino woke suddenly in a tangle of sweat-soaked sheets. He dragged himself to the bathroom, heart thundering. He turned on the light and bent over the sink, splashing cold water in his face. Then, when he looked into the mirror he noticed something strange about his hair. It was standing up in a strange way on both sides of his head.

When he ran his fingers over these areas, he discovered something which made his blood run cold. He was growing horns.

Rudolph Nureyev
"Madame Croissant said she wanted me to be more horny," he said aloud, "but this is ridiculous."

By morning, however, the protuberances were gone, and Nino wondered if it had all been a part of his dream.

*          *         *

Nino won the part by default. Kevin tried to take method acting to a whole new level and was arrested for lewd and lascivious activity in the deer enclosure of the London Zoo.

Opening night was the most exciting night of Nino's life. The lights shone in his eyes as he strode out onto the stage with animal grace. Cheers and applause swept over him in a wave.

And so began the dance.

He spun across the stage. He leapt like a thing possessed. He fondled the buttocks of every dancer playing a nymph. And he noticed that the crotch of each of their leotards was soaking wet. You could have cut the sexuality on that stage with a knife.

When the time came for Nino's climatic moment he thought to himself, "Fuck, Nijinsky! Authenticity is the key." So he pulled down his leotards, grabbed his throbbing stiff cock and began to jack off.

The whole audience gave a collective intake of breath. Ballet had never been like this!

Then Nino groaned, leant back and showered the front row with his jism.

As droplets of cum landed all over Wanda Wackoffsky's fawn evening dress, she exclaimed, "Now that's what I call a seminal performance!!!"

Lola from Glrls Out West


  1. This turned me on more than I can say. I needed this today. I love dancers. Fuck, I've been a dancer. And I'd fuck the shit out of that Nino guy.

    Good one, Scrib. :)

  2. Must be one of those days because I really needed this today too, smile firmly back in place on my cheeky face ;-)

  3. It always makes me happy when one of my stories hits the spot.

    And, Dalide, you know that Nino would love that! He always loves being fucked by female fans. *The Scribbler slips the key to Nino's dressing room down your cleavage and gives your bottom a playful spank for being such a naughty groupie* ;o)

  4. I'm a nasty NY married cunt and want to meet men with incredible cocks! adrianac.day18@yahoo.com

  5. I'm a married guy that wants and needs to make love to only Asian girls. larrywday@gmail.com

  6. "I'm new on here, I need to know if anybody is really reading these notes?" "I want to eat out and fuck me a slim Asian honey"! Larry

  7. awildday and Anonymous : you seem to have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque. This is a story site, not a dating site. I wish you good luck though. :o)