TwitUnErotica

Inspired by a book I once read called A Dark and Stormy Night : A Collection of the Worst Fiction Ever Written compiled by Scott Rice, for which authors competed to write the worst opening line for a novel, I thought I would do something similar using recent Wank Wednesday and Fuck Me Friday prompt words. The initiators of these writing challenges post these prompts on Twitter and various erotica authors write stories inspired by them, post them on their blogs and then link back to the host page and Twitter. The contributions have all been of a very high quality. So I thought it was time to lower the tone.

Tide

The angry red vaginal rash told Laura the laundrette attendant that it had been a mistake to use Tide washing liquid as an impromptu lubricant.

Tide Laundry Liquid

Rush


"Just relax. There's no rush," said the sex therapist. But, once again, Nigel came before he'd even got his pants down.


Bolt

"This will teach you to get fresh," said Dorothy, as she unscrewed the bolt that held on the Tin Man's penis.

The Tin Man

Wind

Mad Mick laughed hysterically as a gob of his spunk flew out of Filthy Philomena's cunt and hit the bedpost with a splat, blown there by the wild wind of one of her famous fanny farts.

Tilt

Niagaras of nauseating puke ran down over Pervy Pete's hair and face. He loved to stand underneath the Tilt-o-Whirl to look up girl's skirts, but his current predicament was one he had failed to foresee.

A Tilt-o-Whirl

Seat

Gladys wished that her husband would put down the toilet seat after he'd been in there having a wank.

Shield

Old Mrs. Grindle tried to shield the eyes of her niece from the sight of the flasher's tiny wizened penis and massive pendulous balls.

A Flasher

Dusk

"If Hollywood can do reboots then why shouldn't I?" asked Stephenie Meyer as she sat at her computer dressed only in a skimpy negligee and typed out the title of her new novel - D...U...S...K.

Skate

Noreen had hygiene problems. Nobody would go down on her because her pussy smelled like a three week old skate.

A Skate