Woody Allen once said that sex was the most fun he'd ever had without laughing. But laughing and sex are not mutually exclusive. Horniness brings on undignified behaviour, and it is all the more fun if we are in on the joke. This blog is a celebration of the funny side of sex and the sexy side of humour. As an author of erotic stories I like to show that sex is more fun when it is playful and silly.

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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Tide : Wank Wednesday



Wank Wednesday is an erotic writing challenge started by Ruby Kiddell at the Erotic Notebook Blog. Here is how she explains it :

Welcome to Wank Wednesday, your weekly festival of smut.
With so many great writers of smut and erotica on Twitter and the web I thought it would be a nice idea to get a smutty blog carnival going. For writers or would be writers a weekly prompt will get you writing and as a reader well you’ll be able to get your fix of sexy stories all in one go.
To join in all you need to do is write a story with the weekly prompt as a title. This week’s prompt is #tide. Then:

  • Blog it – post it on your blog then come back here and add it to the link list.
  • Tweet it – write it on twitter using the prompt hashtag and the #wankwednesday hashtag
  • Add it – if you don’t want to blog or tweet it then please do add it as comment to my post
  • WE it – if you are a member at Word Ejaculation you can submit with them too, just remember to link back to me here and to add your entry to the link list.
Please link back to this page in your post and please also do take the time to read and comment on the other contributors, we’ll all keep on writing but it is so much nicer to do so with feedback.
Thank you for writing and reading.
Here is my contribution for today - Wednesday 6 April :


Tide


My stiff cock twitches as the stream of chocolate syrup hits the glans and runs tantalisingly down its length.


“Try not to move too much,” orders Celeste. The curvy redhead is dressed in a lacy purple teddy with matching stockings and suspenders. She is wearing no panties, her forest of auburn pubes catching the afternoon sunlight.


“I really can’t move all that much you know,” I inform her, struggling against the ropes with which she has bound my wrists and ankles to the chair.


“If you keep wagging your cock like that I’m going to end up wasting some of the syrup,” she complains.


I’m really not sure that Celeste and I are all that compatible sexually. I told her early on in our relationship that, when it comes to sex, I’m a meat and potatoes man. The next thing I knew she was shoving Tater Tots up my arse while wanking me off with a sirloin.


Celeste is an erotica author. A popular one. And I’ve become her main research victim. She likes to write from experience, so we have to act out all of her strange scenarios.


Of course, at the moment, with the tip of her tongue slowly sliding up my cock, gathering the sweet brown liquid as it goes, I don’t feel like divorcing her on the grounds of cruelty.

As she squats in front of me, I have just enough movement in the binding of my right foot to twist it and tickle her pussy with my big toe.

“You keep your toe to yourself,” she scolds. “This is all about your pleasure.” With that she opens her mouth wide, slides it down over the top half of my chocolate-coated member and begins slurping and sucking away at it hungrily.

All about my pleasure indeed! She’s so full of shit. I know she likes chocolate even more than she likes sex. I tested her. I bought her a chocolate dildo for Christmas last year. And she ate it.

“I’d be able to enjoy the blow job more if these ropes weren’t biting into me,” I complained.

“But that’s an essential part of the project,” she insisted, with chocolate syrup dribbling from her lips and the end of her nose. “See!”

With that she turned and picked up her laptop, holding it where I could read her Twitter page.

There was a message saying “Wank Wednesday : Today’s prompt is #tide.

As well as being sexually voracious, Celeste is dyslexic.

7 comments:

  1. LMAOOOO this is funny as when I saw Ruby's prompt I asked her can't it be 'tied' instead...she told me no...LOL....well done you.

    Mollyxxx

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  2. Fucking hilarious.
    Thank you so so much for writing this piece and sharing it. It made me laugh out loud, especially the big toe.
    Ruby x

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  3. Wahahaha!, Fucking Hilarious! I actually just snorted my coffee out my nose reading that!

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  4. *guffaws and heads off to follow you on Twitter*

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  5. Thanks for all the comments. I'm glad the story went down well, even if some of Jelly's coffee didn't. :o)

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  6. There is now coca-cola all over my keyboard. I would have said coke, but someone would surely have taken it wrong...

    This gives new meaning to chocolate as part of the four basic food groups...

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  7. erika & jelly : I'm going to have to take out shares in a keyboard cleaning company. (From experience I can say that using Windex on a keyboard is a bad move.)

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