Woody Allen once said that sex was the most fun he'd ever had without laughing. But laughing and sex are not mutually exclusive. Horniness brings on undignified behaviour, and it is all the more fun if we are in on the joke. This blog is a celebration of the funny side of sex and the sexy side of humour. As an author of erotic stories I like to show that sex is more fun when it is playful and silly.

You can find my humorous erotic ebooks on I-Tunes, Kobo, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords. They are always free!!!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Pleasure Cruise - Chapter 31 : A Sunday Snog

Today's Sunday Snog contribution is a little special. It's a chapter from an interactive erotic serial that I initiated a number of years ago. We had about 12 writers playing different characters and contributing chapters. I can only post my own contributions to the serial here, but I thought this one would be a bit of fun for today's Sunday Snog. Let me know if you like it and I'll post some other extracts. To find out more about the Sunday Snog and read other contributions, go to  Victoria Blisse's blog.

Pleasure Cruise - Chapter 31

I wondered what Sammi was talking about. Exactly what had happened in my cabin after the cocktail party? Had I fucked her?

To be honest what disturbed me was not that I might have, but that I had forgotten if I had. There was something strangely appealing about this woman and I wouldn't have minded knowing what it would feel like to hold her in my arms. The problem was that I might have done that and more and yet I couldn't remember it. Such a waste.

With these thoughts I made my way to the bridge. The cool morning breeze felt refreshing blowing through the hair on my chest. It might have been unprofessional for a captain to go about his duties shirtless, but it was by no means an unpleasant sensation.

Joe was a bit taken aback when he saw me enter the bridge without my full uniform.

"No need for us to maintain strict code, I don't think," I explained. "As this is our last cruise. After all we can't get fired."

"Sounds O.K. to me Captain," he replied as he headed off to his cabin.

At noontime, Cheryl brought me up some lunch as usual. Putting it down on a chair, she came up behind me and began running her fingers over my chest, teasing my nipples. I could feel her large braless breasts squashed against my back.

"I love a guy with a hairy chest," she sighed.

"Anyone I know," I quipped.

"How could I ever be satisfied with just one," she laughed. "Has the Captain forgiven me for swimming in the pool buck naked and giving him a hard-on?"

"Yes, I suppose so," I said.

"Good," she replied, "because I am going to need to be forgiven again. I'm about to be really naughty and suck my captain's cock while he steers the ship."

With that she came around the front of me and sank to her knees, unzipping my white pants as she did so and pulling them, together with my boxer shorts, down around my knees. My rock-hard cock slapped loudly against my belly.

"Don't be crazy!" I protested, pulling my pants back up. "Someone might catch us."

"I  know," she grinned. "Exciting, isn't it." As she crouched there open-legged at my feet, I noticed that she was wearing nothing beneath her long T-shirt. Her wet, hairy pussy was spread before my hungry gaze. I groaned with frustration as she began rubbing her fingers against its wetness. "I can't help it if the sight of a hairy chest makes me lose all control."

"Well, you'll have to learn some control," I told her, trying to sound sincere. "I'll be off duty at 5. We'll finish this in my cabin then."

"You hard man," she replied, standing up close to me and gently stroking my stiff cock through my trousers.

The rest of my shift passed without incident.

When Joe came up to relieve me, he was accompanied by Cheryl. He also had a huge grin on his face.

"So Captain," she asked, "are you ready for a little recreational activity with the Game's Mistress. Much more appropriate title than Co-ordinator, I think."

"I've thought of nothing else all afternoon," I told her, truthfully.

"Have fun," called Joe after us, as he took up his position at the wheel.

As we were passing the swimming pool, I noticed Tabitha and Claire climbing out of the water. For a moment, I thought that they were naked. Then, on closer inspection, I saw that they were dressed in tiny g-string bikinis that left the whole of their well-toned, tanned buttocks on display. There tops covered no more than their nipples.

"Hello, Captain!" called Claire, with a wave.

"Good evening, ladies," I replied. "I'm afraid I must tell you that we have a dress code aboard this ship, which disallows any form of clothing that might be deemed indecent or obscene. I'm afraid that your bathing costumes are a transgression of that code."

"Oh," said Tabitha, with mock contriteness. "Well, if you put it that way... I suppose we will have to take them off. Won't we Claire."

No sooner had she said this than both girls pulled the strings on a couple of loosely tied bows and their bikinis fell onto the deck. The two girls giggled happily as they displayed their nude bodies to us. Each had trimmed her pubic hair to a small patch above her pink and pouting pussy lips. Their breasts were small and pert, their nipples erect.

"Now, now, ladies," I replied, as I stared at their cute little pussies. "You know that is not what I meant."

"Let them go," Cheryl whispered in my ear. "You know you like seeing them that way. And so will the other guys aboard. Who needs rules when this is our last cruise."

I had to follow her advice, because at this point she began stroking my stiff cock through my trousers in clear view of the two girls. I began to hustle her away towards my cabin.

"Are you two gonna fuck?" Tabitha yelled after us. "Why not do it out here on deck so we can enjoy it too."

"Now see what you have started?" I scolded Cheryl, lifting the back of her T-shirt and smacking her nude bottom.

"Well, I am the Game's Mistress," she replied. "If you keep following my advice we will have the kind of fun and games going on aboard this ship that you will never forget."

Coincidentally at this point we heard female moaning coming from Suzette's room as we passed it. Being an inveterate show-off, she had left the door half-open. I peeked in and saw her riding atop one of the male passengers. I couldn't remember his name, but I had seen him coming up the gangplank on the day we embarked. From where we were standing Cheryl and I could see the most delectable bottom aboard ship rising and falling above a large, stiff cock which positively dripped with the effusions of Suzette's horny little pussy. As we stood watching, Cheryl unzipped me and pulled out my own stiff cock, and began masturbating me.

I was afraid we would get caught, so I hurried Cheryl away towards my cabin. She wouldn't let me put my cock back in my pants though.

"One of the passengers might come along this corridor at any moment," I whispered to her urgently.

"I hope so," she smirked. "I hope before this cruise is over, that every female passenger aboard will get to see you just like this. With your naked cock standing at attention and ready to please."

"Most of the lady passengers already have," I reminded her. "Thanks to that bitch, Monique."

"You might call her a bitch," Cheryl pointed out. "But you are dying to fuck her aren't you? I saw how your cock twitched when you mentioned her name."

"You know far to much about me," I told her as I pushed her through the door of my cabin.

"At last I can get rid of this ridiculous T-shirt," she said, pulling it up over her head and dropping it to the floor so that she stood before me completely nude. "I wish I could just walk around like this all day long, watching all the guys cocks do the polite thing and rise when this lady entered a room."

"Well, my cock can't be faulted on his etiquette," I replied, pulling off my shoes, socks, trousers and shorts, to stand equally nude in front of Cheryl.

She came up close to me and I felt her lovely soft breasts rubbing against my hairy chest as she gently stroked my erection with her warm fingers. We kissed passionately as I fondled her buttocks and pulled her belly up firmly against my stiff cock.

Soon she was lying back on the bed and I was sliding my stiffness between her warm, wet pussy lips. Her hands roamed up and down my sweaty back and over the cheeks of my arse as I  slid in and out.

I pulled her up off the bed so that my knees bent and slid beneath her well spread thighs. I leaned back and fucked her hard and deep, while she sighed and played with her nipples with her fingers.

When she came, I could feel her liquid squirting warmly over my balls. My own explosion followed as I pumped her full of cum.

Having slaked our lust on each others bodies we fell back in each others arms and chatted comfortably while punctuating our comments with soft kisses and gentle strokes of the most intimate parts of each others bodies.

"Most of the passengers aboard this ship are as horny as hell," Cheryl commented. "I really think we should ease up on the rules and regulations and let them really have the kind of cruise they will remember for the rest of their lives."

"But what about Mrs. Snodgrass?" I replied. "She's already fit to be tied. What do you think she will do if she sees Tabitha and Claire wandering around the deck in the nude."

"Well, you know what these prudish types are like," Cheryl put in, "I bet she'd be the biggest slut aboard if she really let herself go. I could get Brad to spike her drinks and she would be having such a good time herself that she wouldn't complain."

"Having a good time with who? I'm not sure anyone would be wanting to have a good time with her," I replied.

"Well, you're the Captain," she replied. "Don't they say that, in case of an emergency, the captain has to go down on the passengers."

"Down with the ship, I think," was my reply, "quite a different thing all together."

The End (of this episode)

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